1 post tagged “terminal thoughts”
I always find being inside the terminal at the gate to be this kind of time out out of time. Stephen King wrote an entire story essentially on this concept. I'm in Denver right now but all my time pieces are back on west coast time. I've already been up for hours but here, it could be any time. It could be afternoon or yesterday or tomorrow. Until I get on that plane and land at my final destination, I'm nowhere and no-when. Anyway...here's what I'm thinking about right now...
You need only be in my grandmother’s presence for a moment to know that she loves her some Jesse Saunders. Through all his years running in these Midland streets – drinking, gambling, womanizing – and through all 20 years of being his caretaker since his heart began failing him in the late 80s, she’s loved this man.
They divorced in the late 70s but he never left the house. He has a son 8 months younger than me, her lone grandson, with another woman. But after nearly 60 years of being together, the hole his passing has left in her world is enormous.
His spirit fills this house. His legend fills her stories. She is still walking with him. What you come to understand now that she alone is here to tell their tale is that they were partners and that for all his shortcomings, she loved him and he loved her like they’ve loved no others. Not even their children can understand that.
My grandmother is a strong and powerful woman. She continues to live her life. She’s a church elder. She takes care of my high school age cousin on a daily basis. She’s improving on her home. She hasn’t given up.
But in her quiet moments, there’s sadness. She mentions that she has to learn how to cook for just herself. She notes that she struggles with having to go through all of “Jesse’s things.” She says often that she needs people to come around and to keep busy because when she’s not, when she’s alone, she’s left with her thoughts.
But when she talks about him, the sadness disappears, a smile beams across her face.
Their love is alive.
